Anonymous Poetry

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Sep 19

Was August

Sing for me August
Bang the dust
Get the moon up late
And let the cotton dance


Quietly in the rain, I sit, wondering if she does the same.

Two streaks of lightening spark, as quickly as she stole my heart.
Their flash fades into the night, and though it’s dark I feel alright.
There’s something about the rain now, the night sky and these dark clouds… I feel nostalgic- I’m lost in its embrace; never before did I sit alone dwelling on happy memories. Loneliness has a way of ripping the soul from a heart, poisoning a mind, and leaving someone scared of the dark. It’s strange how something so wonderful, such as love, can sweep away a lost soul and throw it into place amongst the people wandering the streets. The only difference between they and I is that I get a hand to hold. Charon’s grip hath released me, but his dreadful boat rides left their mark. Sometimes I see it on a strangers face. I say a prayer for them, quietly, under my breath so nobody can hear it. Even the ones who made it out of the Underworld are embarrassed to admit they counted their days there. That doesn’t mean, however, that we ignore those around us who are still counting- but we’re discreet. 
The rain has subsided now. I’m still happy, don’t ask me how.
I have no fears of the dark, the game it plays or it’s deadly mark-
because now I am stronger. I don’t need my hand held any longer.
-B.

Another One

I know you care

you didn’t want to lead me on

you’re a sweet girl

but I need a bitch

someone who’ll slap me

to wake me from these deepening dreams

these monstrous feelings

It’s a problem with a thousand heads

it has to be caged

deep in some forgotten dungeon

I may still hear their cries resonating off hollow chambers

but hopefully it will only be at night

at the precipice of sleep


"You’re a great friend"

I find myself once more on the precipice of disappointment and despair,

I know it’s coming now, surely as night follows day,

The dawn broke over the darkness and brought light briefly to my world,

But the polar day in winter lasts a heartbeat,

A single flutter of hope in my soul was all the light I saw,

I long for summer when the days stretch to weeks and years,And there’s nothing but light and joy for all there,

But I must soldier on through the winter, hoping to come out the other side.


Reprecussions

I don’t believe easy,
But you convinced me,
With nerdy glasses,
And sideways glances,
I disassembled my shields,
Thought we were on an “even” playing field,
But my youth, and my sympathies,
Started turning ‘me’s into ‘we’s.
I dug deep, found what made you
Into the big-hearted nerd that I’d do
Anything to make feel complete.
Imagine the shock at my defeat:
Your half-truths and secrets
All began to fit
In this perfect maze
Of hearts you’ve played.
I might be young, as well as innocent,
But I’ve never been dumb.
You don’t know it yet
But feeling the repercussions is a sure bet.
I know you’re a young man,
But you should know:
He’ll hath no fury like an angry female.


Sep 16

you and I

You are the sun, never to rise again

And you are my eyes,  never to see again

You are my words, bad English that is broken

You are the stars, unclear from all the clouds,

You are my favourite pair of shoes, covered in mud.

You are my memories, keeping me unwell

You are gone.

And it hurts like fucking hell.


where the grass disappears

in a meadow

miles long

he stands waiting

by the tree line

where the grass

disappears

 

his arms are open

and I run to him

but my feet

are made of lead

planted in the thick mud

of everyone

who tells me to stay

 

why would you leave?

they ask,

we’re under the sun

roaming free

safe from all harm

and the sky’s always clear

 

i’m in the dark,

i reply,

i’m not free

i’m blinded

by all of your joys

and I can’t seem

to find mine

 

so i look at him

and his eyes are

the blue rings of saturn

of the world beyond

of a galaxy far away

 

and I know

that I will reach them

some how

someday

 

they hold patience

and they blink innocence

they wait for me

to join them

to take them

past the tree line

where the grass

disappears

 


…..Cancer.

New pain,

Big bruises, strange lumps,

Doctor appointments.

Confusion, needles,

Scared.

More doctors,

Worried mom, anxious dad

Pure frustration.

Biopsy, medication,

Hopeful.

I feel fine.

I am not worried.

They will poke and prod to find a problem.

But I am fine.

Red spots,

Friendly nurses, painful scars,

Malignant cells,

PET Scans, results

………Cancer.

Sixteen years,

Scary hospital, all alone,

Bagged chemotherapy.

PIC line, nausea

Healing.

I feel sick.

I do not want to do this treatment.

They say it will only be six weeks.

But I feel sick.

Full admittance,

Single room, breathing tubes,

Sleepless nights.

Treatments, doctors,

Tears.

I hear them talking.

I know that it is worse then they are telling me.

They say everything will be fine,

But I hear them talking. 

 

Worried parents,

Feeling better, staying calm,

Support groups,

Doctors, treatments,

Fighting.

Scary nights,

Long hours, sick days,

Painful medicine.

Healing, hoping,

Waiting.

I am trying to stay positive

I make friends with the other patients.

They say that I will be here for a while.

But I am trying to stay positive.

Playing cards,

Friendly smiles, girly giggles,

Coloring books.

Jokes, pranks,

Funny.

Smiling boy,

Cheesy quotes, balding head,

Perfect smile.

Encouraging, uplifting,

Kind.

I like this boy.

I know he is sick and probably doesn’t feel the same,

They tell us that it’s important to focus on our own battle.

But I like this boy.

Kids Ward,

Fourth floor, Go fish,

Warm hugs.

Dates, dances,

Safe.

Late nights,

TV shows, sneaking out,

Helicopter pad.

Kisses, feelings,

Happy.

I finally feel normal.

I know there is a chance that it may come back.

They say to prepare for the worst.

But I finally feel normal.

Clean tests,

Tumor check, big smiles,

Cancer free.

Remission, relieved,

Healthy.

Check-out papers,

New school, old friends,

Understanding teachers.

Tests, grades,

Student.

I made it.

I can focus on school and friends.

They say I still need watch my health,

But I made it.

Smiling boy,

Dinner dates, growing up,

Happy girl.

Letters, caves,

Relationship.

Year difference,

Graduation ceremony, Montana State

Acceptance letter.

Moving, college,

Anxious.

I will miss that boy.

I know I have to stay here.

They say he will be back in the summer.

But I will miss that boy.

Long distance,

Skype calls, text messages,

Birthday trip.

October, laughter

Love.

 

High stress,

Far away, first fight,

Making up.

Apologies, forgiveness,

Grateful.

I am excited for him to come home.

I know that summer will be here soon.

They said we wouldn’t make it this long, 

But I am excited for him to come home.

Something’s wrong,

Intense pain, home early,

Colorado Springs.

Flu, pneumonia,

Sick.

Familiar aches,

Scary night, 911 calls,

Ambulance ride.

Doctors, tests,

……. Cancer.

I hope for the best.

I know that he is strong.

They say he is not well.

But I hope for the best.

Silent room,  

White face, blue lips

Colorless palms

Bald, still,

Cold.

Breathing tubes,

Black eyes, cold feet,

Sleepy boy.

Painful, sick,

Scared.

I hope for one more day.

I know he can do this.

They say he may not come back this time.

But I hope for one more day.

Handsome face,

Blue beanie, black tux,

Peaceful grin.

Remembered, honored,

Gone.

Vacant memories,

Empty hands, hurting heart,

Grieving girl.

Confused, lost,

Broken. 


Afro Blues

Self hatred 
Bred fed beginning from slavery 
Steal my language from me 
Separate me from my kin 
And KKK my property 
Bred hatred into me 
When all I needed was a piece of bread to help me get through the day 
Cotton fields 
Red sun 
The south was always too hot on me 
Burnings 
Hangings 
This is how you raise me 
America 
My country tis of thee 
Sweet land of inequality 
Hypocrisy your history 
Present 
With no jobs you present me 
Teen pregnancy 
Incarcerations of the 3/5ths 
I see means nothing to you 
You won’t understand 
Until you know Afro blues 
Twenty first century 
As I celebrate my 21st 
I realize there ain’t nothing to celebrate 
As I see ignorance halo the minds of the black folk 
That once made you blues 
That once created jazz for you 
And made gospel have soul 
Jesus Christ wouldn’t have been Christ without African Americans’ past 
America wouldn’t be so rica without black sweats in the cotton fields 
And your little girls would have been nothing without Cora 
America 
The place of the immigrants 
Yet why is it whites don’t mention another continent before you 
While the Americans you once considered 3/5ths 
Have to 
America 
Self hatred you brew 
'Oh those blacks, good riddance' 
When past are children’s lives 
South side Chicago crimes 
Always on my mind 
You gave me props 
You gave me the videos on TV 
You have me on drugs 
All sorts of distractions 
And you distructed me 
America home of the imprisoned free 
Take away my history 
Whipe away my identity  
Scold me when I do wrong 
When I can’t find the discipline 
You once took away from me 
When you took me from my kin 
And KKK’ed my identity 
Cross burnings 
You claimed Jesus loved you more 
For getting rid of me 
America 
Home of the free 
America- 
Close public schools down 
And open new ones across gang territories
When it comes to the poor kids 
Our budget is a bit tight 
Financial crisis occurs to banks 
And we bail them out 
America 
Home of the rich 
America 
What can you do for the poor? 
What can you do to right your wrongs? 
Your racism 
As ears are closed to the hundreds and hundreds of lives lost in Chicago’s south 
As eyes don’t mind 
The hundreds and hundreds of lives lost in Chicago’s west 
Would you have reacted the same if she was North 
If she was East? 
Self hatered you bred into me 
Kinky hair 
Ain’t good enough 
Relax it immediately 
A history of single mother homes 
Dismantled families 
Tell me how you’re surprised that our current president might be the only one who grew up without a dad
Does it surprise you less 
If I told you he is black 
America- 
Judge me 
Scold me 
But you ain’t do nothing for me 
Till you educate me 
Create a better future for me 
Stop making me be 
The dealer of your drugs 
While you accumulate your riches 
I’m in prison 
Vainly awaiting you to bail me 
America you home to no one like me 
America you discriminate 
The black culture you cultivated 
Now you scold 
Single parent homes 
Claiming our black men aren ‘t good enough 
Fit your stereotype that black is bad 
No sense of education in our youth 
You complain of our ignorance 
While ‘don’t teach them how to read’ 
Was once your Jim Crow law
I’m sick of hearing negative comments about my people 
Everywhere I go 
'They're too lazy, 
They just get by, 
Fathers don’t raise their sons right, 
And mom she’s on drugs’ 
I hear ‘em complain about blacks 
As if black was noting human 
Just a fraction 
3/5ths 
3/5ths 
Are we even 3/5ths of a person? 
People care more about their dogs than a black man’s son 
Trayvon Martin 
'They made us hate ourselves 
And love their wealth…’ 
Kanye west 
Second class citizens 
When it was us who made her a citizen 
The riches of the cotton fields 
Was watered by our sweats and 
Plowed with our blood 
There would have been no Elvis 
Without such ‘second class’ citizens 
There would have been no civil rights for women 
Had it not been for the black civilians 
Who demanded America to step up to her own constitutional laws 
Yet our people 
They’re considered less smart 
And a black student always has to prove her self
Because she is always watched 
America 
Don’t you ever give me those negative comments about the citizens you consider 3/5ths 
Without offering a tangible solution 
To the problems you yourself created 
In the times of slavery 
When you never thought there’d be a time 
When you’d have to be considered equal to those you once enslaved 
It was never your plan 
To integrate 
But since segregation 
Is no longer dejuro 
You figure your second option is to discriminate
This is all your workings 
so don’t have the nerve to talk to me 
About the problem you’re having with your 3/5ths 
Until you talk to me 
Geneounly 
About the citizens 
Who should have been considered your 5/3rds…
"Men talk of the Negro problem. There is no Negro problem. The problem is whether the American people have honesty enough, loyalty enough, honor enough, patriotism enough to live u to their own Constitution" -Fredrick Douglas (Schiff, 32) 

Amanda

Her touch washes over me
Invading every crevice of my being
She melts me with a finger
Like a chocolate bar, gone without eating

Her gaze is like a gush of wind
The relief has come and passed
Her eyes shine like a coin in the fountain
Come end of the night I wish to see them last

Her mind is an open field
I’m lost and not trying to be found
I’m not aware of where I want to reach
Amazed, I keep turning around and around

Her hair flows like waves of auburn grain
Swaying back and forth in the wind
Soft on my fingers, on my hands, on my face
I could never escape after she let me in

Her laugh is like a sweet, sweet tune
That I play over and over again
I close my eyes and hear her giggle
It washes away the pain

Her smile is a ray of sun
That can wash away the bad
It blocks out all but her
She’s the one I wish I had

Her body is like a sculpture
A temple of pure divinity
Curves honest like the coast line
Goddess of the holy trinity

Her sadness destroys me
Like a dilapidated shack
I want her to feel happy
Always try to bring the smile back

Her voice is soft and quiet
Open like the ocean deep
I lay my head down to rest
Hoping I’ll hear it while I’m asleep

Her touch is warm and friendly
But it turns me straight to ice
I freeze when I try to talk with her
Is this what love feels like?


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