Anonymous Poetry

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Apr 19

You’ve gone now and that is it,
No more will you watch the stairs
Listening for the sound of my footsteps
Slowly climbing up.

You’ve gone now moving on,
No more cheeky banter,
A familiar face distant but warm,
Deep in firm intelligence.

You’ve gone now, heading out,
Your sensual masculinity,
Lips so full, chin rough,
Oh That I could feel their touch.

You’ve gone now, leaving me,
To fantasise of your touch,
Wondering what it would feel like
To feel your lips upon mine.

You’ve gone now, walking out,
No more dreams of what might be
No more passionate snatched fantasies,
Steamy, heated forbidden.

You’ve gone now, walked away,
Unaware of my respect and love,
And desire to be possessed
Never spoken nor shared.

Goodbye now, off you go,
My shameful hidden secret unsaid.
Snatched glances at photographs,
Are all of you which remains.

Goodbye now, we’ll meet again,
But in circumstances different,
From those which were our ken,
Politely with decorum we say how d’you do?


poem

THERE IS A DOUBT IN MY MIND

There is a doubt in my mind. And that doubt is my biggest fear.
I doubt that it wont come true and i doubt that it will.
Soon though i feel it will.
Panic strikes.
I hope it stops. It doesn’t.
It just gets worse.
Whats going to happen next?!
Its all going to end. Thats me. Gone.
What will happen after. Someone will find me.
Call the police and where will i be now.
Above? Below? Around? I don’t know.
Surely that is my biggest fear.
There is a doubt in my mind.

-anonymous


Apr 18

Becoming Strangers

Pouring rain


comes down.


Staring


From afar


Too far.


Eye to eye


Body to body


Heart to heart


Love to love.


Still too far,


Yearning


Longing


Unsaid


But understood.


Fear


Of unrequited feelings.


Step back


Further away


Bond


Eye to eye


And heart to heart


Stretched


Screaming


In Pain


In Torture.


Defended by fear!


Step back


Breaking


Tearing


Hanging


Pulled


Excruciatingly


Broken


Step back


Bond severed


Gone.


Eye


Body


Heart


Love


Alone


And empty


Shielded hearts.


Now


Drenched in rain


Heaven’s tears


Stand strangers.


The destruction of depression

One fucking time, just once, let it be.

Stop the sadness

Becoming screaming aggravation; let it rest.

I cannot forget, cannot move on.

Caught in a cycle of anger and selfishness-

I am spun around and around.

I burn the fingers of hands reaching out for me.

I cut them off, one by one; pass my grief to my saviors.

This time, I’ll let it be. This time, I’ll smile.

Or just do it again. Fuck it up again.

 A hand puppet, I am controlled by another.

This melancholy, this darkness.

Shadows I try to shake, try to illuminate.

Each time, I cannot let it be.


Stolen not hidden.

The rusty key perished under a clutter if absurdities,
A wonky laugh, a blemished soul and impure thoughts covered it from sight.

Without it, the lock stayed put.
Chisels and hammers came and went;
The metal pole wickedly resistant each time.

Dig deep my dear,
Dig through my impurities.
Source the key and unlock it.
But heed my warning,
For it remains hidden.
It is kept by someone else.


I Know

I know my family,

Will never look at me the same,

Upon the weight of sadness,

I feel the weight of shame,

When they see the scars,

I will be judged,

I can’t even remember,

How it feels to be loved,

Up until now,

They didn’t show they cared,

None of them helped me,

With the demons that I bared,

The scars will fade,

But the pain will not,

And the memories that caused this,

Will never be forgot,

People have mocked me, kicked me,

Treated me like dirt,

Yet I still care for them,

Because I know what it’s like to be hurt,

They question me,

On how I could dare use a knife,

But isn’t that better,

Than taking my own life?


Apr 17

If I Only, Maybe, Somehow

It’s the silence that finds me in the after hours

That lurks, and peers, and plots

The absence that creeps, and bends, and fleshes out the time that is away

The time that leaves me restless 

Questioning

The time that fills me with uncertainty

Yearning

With this never ending bitter taste as I watch you walk away

As if I’ve been waiting all my life

But the truth is far from these shaking hands

These clammy palms

My hands so cold

These thoughts that fill this racing mind

That dreams these wishful thinkings, and the ‘only if…’

The ‘if’s 

‘but’s

‘maybe’s

SOMEHOW.

SOME DAY.

But If I Maybe

Somehow

Some Day had the courage

The right words

The right time

The right train of mind
I’d catch your beautifully tortured soul

But the pain that taps upon this shoulder

Is no fault of your own

But of my own shadow

Own mind

Own problems

Own wasted time

Without dashing feet

And witty lines

The fear of slipping is quickly upon my

Rapid breath

Nervous mind

Shaking Hands
Clammy Palms

My hands so cold

I’m to blame.

For my own absence of your skin

That smile

That fickle freckle

That look

That scent

Your touch.

If only I maybe Somehow, Some Day

Knew how to properly walk away.


(Not Really A) Sonnet 42

I once met a girl who was made out of outer space.
Her smile was like the stars in a constellation falling into place.
A perfect explosion of interstellar puzzle pieces.
Her eyes were like undercover black holes
Attracting your eyes with its
Fierce gravitational pull
Trapping your gaze
Her heart was like the sun
Generously warming the heart of all she meets.
It was the center of everyone’s orbit.
I once met a girl who was made out of outer space.


This Old Soul.

My legs are tired

My arms are weak

My days feel numbered 

My eyes leak

My feet are sore

My hands are cold

Please, no more

This soul is old


Tell me please
Inform me of why
Because I can’t find a reason
For you to make me cry

Does the world orbit to you?
I believe not
You command for respect
Through every fight fought

Are you as ignorant
As you are stubborn
Because you cuss and yell
And awake with scorn

What did I do to you
To create all this hurt?
Your jealousy consumes you
You’ve condemned this fate

Pendejo, estupido
Are you talking about him?
Or about yourself
As life becomes more grim

I have never seen him cheat
He has his faults, yes
But are you Miss Perfect
With God’s holy bless?

Because of you
I no longer have religion
Arguing about a dumb fork
That’s just when you begin

You don’t give, you take
You like to lecture another
I forgot, you’re always right
Because you’re mother?

Do you honestly believe
You’ve deserved that name?
With a biased opinion
You bring me shame

At hate that I came
Born in your womb
I hate that you drag me
Onto your doom

Every point you make
Just shows you don’t deserve
Every “respect”
You’ve got some nerve

Don’t play the pity card
The marriage is in shreds
And it’s your entire fault
You’ve made your death bed

Come back to me in years
After you’ve finally grown
You have no more control
It isn’t me you own

You share with me no love
I can never confide in you
You’ve never been my friend
And I’ve never trusted you

Your anger leeches onto me
Making me burn with tears
Mother, I don’t want you
You’re my biggest fear


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