A sandy morning sun
And soon forgotten
A sandy morning sun
And soon forgotten
I am the wildflower in your backyard
the one with the ocean petals
that’s in love with the sun
grateful and undeserving
merely a weed among a garden
that soaks the sun before the set
until I smile at you and go to sleep
With narrowed eyes
I glare out the window
by the harsh beams of light
that glare back at me.
My ankles fidget
Shoulders lean forward
to see the unknowing plane
fly innocently overhead
and my bike
against the rotting fence.
I stumble back
In a whirring machine
that screeches and shudders
and thumps on the door
Can I come in?
Worried eyes flit my way
Take it easy
Like a fragile possession
Teetering on the edge
Crowds gather to catch
Walls bind me
Embracing me in darkness
It settles deep inside
and warms my tears
but nourishes my fears.
I’ve got scars
But yeah don’t we all?
It’s all been said before
We didn’t get far
But it was a far way to fall
It was disaster galore
I’ve got these scars
Reminding me of you
This isn’t a flesh masquerade
Frequent the bars
Drinking blurred hues
Stumbling along to this black parade
I’m damaged goods
But at least I know
I’m not faking it through
Maybe you should
Have thought before you go
And fake it the way you do
That’s what got us here
Babbling and Burbling.
I see the sea at the heart of
this jewel blue Stream…
It seems to Glitter on the surface,
I have seen Nature,
in all her Glory.
you must be a figment of my imagination…
…or were you just a pigment in simple coloration?
in this case it must be black or white…
…either you love me or you don’t like day and night
but some whisper inside tells me you are true…
…just as your eyes and the deep skies are blue
for me to have fallen so hard is unlikely…
…at the time i was a non-believer, love was unsightly
unless it was all a lie and i am so gullible…
…but i never dreamed i could be so lovable
you were the glance that caught my attention…
…before i knew it you came into my direction
and when we were together you stayed awhile…
…the kind that lasted for hours and ended with a smile
somehow you surprised me everyday…
…with how you listened and what you had to say
even the silly thoughts i had mumbled…
…my words were not something that over you stumbled
after very few months together we grew in proximity…
…you dared to ask me “Don’t you think it’s meant to be?”
Soon after that we fell completely apart…
…either you love me immensely, or wanted to destroy my heart
you showed me color in a world so gray…
…we exist no longer but that color never washed away
And I still believe our souls exist together in infinity,
Even if our bodies were never meant to be
- my name rhymes
It always feels so easy…
To just sit here and be nothing, feel nothing.
To lie awake and stare at the ceiling,
Just counting the minutes for the night to settle in my body
And for my eyes to close temporarily,
Before they learn how to close forever.
To wrap myself up in this blanket of lonely apathy,
Of emotionless introversion…
Such a perversion of the self.
It always feels so easy to have a dreamless sleep,
Or to not sleep at all and just think;
Think about the times when smiles didn’t have to be forced,
When tears actually existed because there was genuine sadness,
Instead of a void.
It always feels so easy to embrace it.
Embrace the quietness, the dark, the melancholy.
Play some ugly music with hysterical vocals and messages of hatred.
Something with a piano.
Something more emotional than what I can be.
It always feels so easy to not be human,
To not feel the ability to love.
To not care about anything, not even myself.
To think about death and not wish for it to come soon,
But not run away from it either,
Always pouring that extra drink,
Smoking that extra joint,
Cutting that other wrist that still looks too pretty.
It always feels so easy.
But I’m choosing the hard path.
I’m choosing to fake the happiness,
To act out the compassion,
To dance and trance myself out of this hole I call a life.
I’m choosing you over me and all of them over the two of us.
I’m choosing to cry again for no reason
And for all the reasons I can’t write,
I can’t say out loud.
I’m choosing to scream until I have no voice.
And then, the silence won’t be so heavy.
It won’t matter as much.
The silence will just be that invisible rope
Tying us to one another
And making us feel alive.
Making us feel human.
I’m choosing to be human.
Because it’s not easy,
Because it doesn’t have to be.
Because before a shadow, there is always… light.
Her eyes are rimmed
Her hair a faded
Her clothes sparkle
and glitter in the light
But in the dark
They are cheap
And falling apart
She smiles twisted frowns
And silently looks
Praying for a escape
Don’t be fooled
By the light
for it is all fake